Best Ocean Jokes

A penguin walks into a bar and asks the pharmacist for Chapstick.

After grabbing the Chapstick, the pharmacist asks the penguin, “How would you like that?”

The penguin replies, “Just put it on my bill.”

So this Friday, because I am need of a good laugh, I am asking all DSN readers to contribute their best ocean related jokes in the comments below.  Cleanliness (adultness) of the joke is at your own discretion.

And some more

What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool? Show me your mussels.

Where does seaweed look for a job? In the ‘Kelp-wanted’ ads.

Why don’t oysters give to charity?… Because they’re shellfish

How can you amplify a pirate’s DNA?… PC Arghhh

Warning! This adult joke keeps making me laugh.

Dr. M (1628 Posts)

Craig McClain is the Assistant Director of Science for the National Evolutionary Synthesis Center, created to facilitate research to address fundamental questions in evolutionary science. He has conducted deep-sea research for 11 years and published over 40 papers in the area. He has participated in dozens of expeditions taking him to the Antarctic and the most remote regions of the Pacific and Atlantic. Craig’s research focuses mainly on marine systems and particularly the biology of body size, biodiversity, and energy flow. He focuses often on deep-sea systems as a natural test of the consequences of energy limitation on biological systems. He is the author and chief editor of Deep-Sea News, a popular deep-sea themed blog, rated the number one ocean blog on the web and winner of numerous awards. Craig’s popular writing has been featured in Cosmos, Science Illustrated, American Scientist, Wired, Mental Floss, and the Open Lab: The Best Science Writing on the Web.





6 comments on “Best Ocean Jokes
  1. What’s an Echinoderm’s favorite karaoke song? “Like an urchin…. woooo… touched for the very first time!”

  2. A penguin pulls into a garage to have his car fixed. The mechanic tells him that its going to be a while, so the penquin decides to waddle over to an ice cream shop for a treat. When he returns, the mechanic says, “It looks like you blew a seal.” The penguin relies, “Nah, that’s just some ice cream that dripped off my cone.”

  3. True penguin story. A friend of mine here in New Zealand had little blue penguins nesting under his house. They make a terrible braying noise at night like donkeys, and my friend was getting fed up with the disruption. “What should I do?” he asked, not wanting to hurt them. “Take them to the zoo” I suggested.
    I caught up with him later in the day – and to my surprise he still had the penguins in a cardbord box. “I thought you were taking them to the zoo” I said. “Yes” he said. “We’ve been to the zoo, and now they want to go to the movies”.
    OK, I lied.

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