Once again, ocean bloggers are banding together to get their drunk on, sing shanty’s, swear profusely, help children. Team DSN is leading a charge to ensure ocean science is a reality in classrooms around the country. And the folks over at Southern Fried Science Network, the Geo-blogging Network, as well as a slew of independent ocean science bloggers, are making this a real community effort. Check out the selection of worthy ocean science education projects that need your support, and give at a level that is meaningful for you.
Giving feels good!
But a little quid pro quo never hurts, right.
Well, I’ve got a real doozy of an incentive. How many times have you thought, “If only I had a really cool, one-of-a-kind, deep sea artifact to grace my desk, I’d be the envy of all my nerd friends (or enemies)!”
Well, wish no more!
Through the magic of professional networking and collegial awesomeness, I am offering a very lucky donor with their own, customized, shrunken Styrofoam head, produced by the crushing pressure found in the depths of the Monterey Submarine Canyon!
Here’s how it works in 10 easy steps:
1. Choose an ocean science education project you like from our Donor’s Choose page, and make a financial contribution that’s meaningful to you.
3. If your name is selected, I will ship to you 1 normal-sized, plain Styrofoam wig stand, a selection of colored Sharpie markers, and a pre-paid return shipping label.
4. You decorate and customize the Styrofoam wig stand to your heart’s content. This is no time for being conservative! Go nuts!
5. You place the decorated Styrofoam head back into the original box, seal, and ship to Dr. George Matsumoto using the pre-paid label.
6. Dr George Matsumoto takes your decorated Styrofoam head, has a laugh, tethers it to a submersible or ROV, and sends it for a ride into the Monterey Submarine Canyon which happens to be home to Tiburonia granrojo, Vampyroteuthis infernalis, and maybe even Architeuthis dux .
WARNING… SOME SCIENCE CONTENT: Styrofoam is a composite material comprised of lots of plastic, gas-filled bubbles. This gas is compressible. Every 10 meters of water depth = 1 additional atmosphere of pressure = 15 additional pounds of pressure per square inch exerted on any material taken to that depth. A Styrofoam head carried into the Monterey Submarine canyon, where depths exceed 3000 meters, undergoes considerable yet relatively proportional squeezing of all the gas-filled bubbles. This causes the normal-sized Styrofoam head to shrink (or more accurately be squeezed) to a fraction of what it was at the surface.
7. Your newly shrunken, customized Styrofoam head returns to the surface, and Dr. George Matsumoto ships it right back to you.
8. 8) You receive your shrunken Styrofoam head, place it on your desk at work, and become immediate target of seething envy. Your love life improves overnight as you become irresistible babe-magnet, stud-magnet, or any other permutation of oozing, nerdy sexiness you wish to imagine.
9. You attain harmony knowing that you helped kids learn ocean science while acquiring really cool ocean science trinket.
10. What are you waiting for? Give now and get this process rolling!